Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Have A Little Patience

I was bored. Bored out of my tiny mind. Why? I was in hospital - nothing too serious, just an operation that was scheduled a few weeks ago. I am a brutal patient because I have no patience and a very low boredom threshold. And I'm obviously far too used to staying in hotels because I got a shock when I saw my room. A single bed. And no private bathroom. I don't even share a bathroom at home with The Hubs for gods sake! And where was my robe, slippers, water & fruit basket?

The afternoon dragged on - why make me come in the day before when I could have been at home doing stuff? I could have got one more day out of my divine new Estee Lauder Ultra Violet nail polish - but no. So I hung around my room all day pootling on the laptop, nattering away to the lovely ladies on www.beaut.ie and taunting myself by reading trip reports in www.flyertalk.com, and at 5pm it was dinner time. Dinner at 5pm? I'd be lucky to get it on the table by 8pm at home. It was horrific - gammon steak and chips. No salad, no veg, no potatoes. The chips were cooked about 20 years ago from the look of them & kept warm on a hotplate, and as for the gammon steak, let's just say that if my FitFlops ever wear out I'd know where to find a replacement sole!!!

The nice nurse gave me a sleeping tablet which was as much use as a chocolate fireguard because there was a strip light directly outside the room which went on at 15 minute intervals - it was like bloody Guantanamo Bay without the orange jumpsuits. Waste of a sleeping tablet. And when I managed to get to sleep, they woke me at 5.30am for breakfast as my op was scheduled for the afternoon. It was a looooooong day hanging around, I can tell you. Eventually I was called up for the op which went well-ish although new stuff was found and a suspicious mole was removed... apparently it's nothing to worry about but I'll wait to hear to be 100% sure

The Hubs came to liberate me last night - they tried to make me have another sleepover but I graciously declined and hightailed it into the car claiming I was feeling great. That was a lie - I nearly threw up all over the nurse... I was never so happy to get into my own bed, complete with comfy pillows and subdued lighting. All I need now are more painkillers!


  1. Hilarious Babaduck - your retelling not the actual experience! God the gammon steaks sound awful.

  2. Gammon. Ick. Glad you got on ok, crappiness with pain tho :( Tell you what, I shall try and invent painless surgery. Sorted!